BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS

It lives forever

EDITOR:

All over Kingsford many squirrels live and scamper about from tree to tree, going up and down them, doing it apparently just for fun.

I have even seen them using the power and telephone wires like superhighways.

They chase one another around the trunks and up the branches, and back down again to the ground, where they gather speed across the grass to another tree, and up they go again, having fun all day long.

Having much more fun than, for instance, the people you see walking around the stores in town.

Now that got me thinking about the squirrels. Where do they physically go to die? They live in trees. If they are not in a tree already, they are running toward a tree; we all know this from common observation every time we go for a walk or look out our windows.

Now let me point out that a dead squirrel can’t cling to a tree and keep it from falling to the ground. That makes sense. Only live squirrels can use their little claws to stay up in a tree according to their own will.

So one would think that when a squirrel dies it would fall out of the tree and land on the ground right where the tree stands. However, we never see dead squirrels lying on the ground in our neighborhoods under the very trees where they spend all there lives.

So where do they go to die?

I have given it some thought and I think I know the answer – they are immortal.

The only dead squirrels I have seen are ones that have been run over by a motor vehicle. I don’t recall ever having seen a dead squirrel under any other circumstances, except where it has been run over on the street.

The conclusion from all this is very obvious, and that is, if a squirrel does not get run over by a motor vehicle on the street, it lives forever. Not many people realize this, and it is only within the last year or so that I have discovered it myself.

I cannot speak for any other squirrels that live in their grassy playgrounds of Iron Mountain, as I have not observed the same thing elsewhere.

Well, that explains the longevity of the Kingsford squirrels. Now I’m starting to think pigeons may be immortal as well.

One must be kept informed of those kinds of things, or one is liable to lose their grip on the reality of the world around us.

Robert Raymond

Kingsford