The life I used to have


It’s dark here and I’m going to try and go to sleep. I can hear the other dogs barking and whining. I’m going to try to sleep and dream of the life I used to have.

My dad loved me so he got me when I was a little puppy because his wife had passed away and he was lonely living in his house by himself.

I’m about 4 now. We had our routine. He was retired and we would get up every morning and have breakfast together. Sometimes dad would give me some of his eggs but not too many as he would always tell me he wanted me to be healthy and live a long time.

Guess he never thought that he would die before me.

After he had his coffee we would get dressed and go for a little walk. Since I’m a small dog he would always have a coat for me in the fall and winter so I wouldn’t get cold. Most of the time he would tell me stories about what him and his wife use to do.

I could tell he missed her a lot so I always made sure to listen carefully and rub my nose on him if I thought he was sad. We spent our days together.

Often I would go with him for errands or grocery shopping. Whatever we were doing it did not matter as he loved me so and I loved him we were so happy.

I had truly found my forever home.

At night as he settled down to read the paper and watch the news I would bring him his slippers. It always made him laugh when I rolled around on the floor after he would he would pick me up in his arms and whisper in my ear how much he loved me and he would never let anything bad happen to me.

One day I noticed dad was starting to slow down and he didn’t look good.

I was worried about him but what could I do? Then one morning he did not get up and I tried and I tried but he would not wake up? After a few hours one of his family members stopped by and I could not open the door but I kept barking I knew I had to tell someone he was not OK.

Yes, he died that night. I heard them say it was peaceful he just went to sleep.

I didn’t understand at first and I did not want to leave his side but they took me to one of his children’s homes.

It was quite different. They had small things called children but they had a lot of energy like me and it was fun playing with them.

I missed my dad but I could tell they were his children so I was happy that they took and I would have a home.

The kids got these things called snacks so I thought why don’t I get one it would be like a treat, right? So one day I took one from the baby’s hand and did I get in trouble.

I got a spanking and was put outside on a thing called a leash? The ground was hard and I was just not use to being out there so I started to bark because I was cold and afraid. That was when I really began missing my dad and wishing he were not dead.

He would never treat me this way. He promised he would never let anything bad happen to me. It was hard to get used to this new way of living. It seemed I was always in the way or a bother when I had to go to the bathroom.

When they took me out, they did not talk to me or wait for me to go potty. I was always rushed so when I still had to go or if they forgot to take me out and I had an accident on the floor, I was scolded and spanked and called a bad dog.

Today my dad’s family took me to the pound.They packed up my stuff that my dad bought me. They brought me in and signed papers and left me here.

The people are nice and talking kind to me, but I’m so afraid. If I could do anything to not be here I would, I’m scared.

My dad just died. Don’t they understand that I’m sad and I miss him?

If I could I would not eat scraps off the floor, I would hold my pee. Really I would be a good dog, just give me another chance. You will see. Why me? Why are there so many here? Don’t people understand that we have feelings and get sad, scared, hurt, feel pain, miss our loved ones?

I don’t understand, I’m so depressed.

I’m going to close my eyes now and hope that I dream of my daddy who loved me so, and promised me nothing bad would ever happen to me.

Shelby Dixon